Fighter - Cancer battle Fighting with Dignity

In memory of John Douglas Feusner, Larry James Lampkins, and countless others who have taught us how to fight with honor and courage.

“Take the Road Less Traveled”. 

The words stared back at me, never more poignant. You see, what was hidden behind those words, tucked deep inside the package, had been source of great anticipation. I already knew about taking those roads that are not traveled by many. The roads that are dirty, uphill, rough as heck, jar every bone in your body and make you say things that would make a church lady blush. There is no discrediting those trips can wear a man down. However, the scenery encountered on those roads is so rare and beautiful; you always find yourself praying its memory will be forever burned in your mind and in your soul. As the full memory of the road & its beauty came back to me, I found myself tearing into that package with renewed joy and a new sense of FigHt!

Just few weeks before I was innocently partaking in a lil Junk Gypsy “window shoppin” when something caught my eye. This time it was not bright and shiny, but instead heartfelt and inspiring. “Kickin’ Hiney and Takin’ Names” splashed across my screen. Clearly, with a title like that they had me at hello. It seemed the Junk Gypsy gals wanted to FIGHT and when you pair two sisters from the Lone Star State with a dad who is fighting a battle against cancer, this will be a fight worth watching! Y’all that have been down this road, know full well that certain battles are NEVER to be fought alone.

cancer…it stinks. and i would pretty much assume there isn’t a single person out there whose life has not been touched in some way by that ugly, stinky word. you know people that have lost the battle, you know some that are currently in the trenches of war, and thankfully you know those that have won the FIGHT.

or possibly, YOU are currently courageously, boldly, fighting the fight. the gloves-are-off-take-no-prisoners-fight-of-your-life. we salute you.

and here’s the good part. the part we’re really pumped about…we are working on a new design. a new design to HONOR and CELEBRATE all of the cancer survivors & fighters & true-blue warriors out there. we are doing a call for names. for the names of anyone & everyone who has been through the CaNCER war. NAMES in honor, in celebration, in memoriam.

and the even better part…we’re going to print EVERY name we receive on our new design, print it, and SELL it. and 100% of the profits will go to the LIVESTRONG foundation working hard in the fight against cancer.

(Junk Gypsy Blog)

Now THIS was a fight I could get plum excited about. I had TwO very important tasks & oNe very important deadline before me. I needed to get my personal FigHter’s name typed out ASAP & then send this information on to a friend who had lost her own father one month before mine. The Gypsy gals ended up having almost 1,000 names to spread out over five shirts…but wouldn’t it just be like fate that those two important names can be found on the same shirt!

…Cancer. Jazz it up, strip it down, make it emotional, interpret it scientifically, cuss about it or write it a love sonnet. No matter what you do to Cancer, it just is what it is. It might be the worst thing that happens to you or frankly, it might be far from the worst boulder to ever roll onto your trail. If Cancer does affect your life one day, if Cancer is affecting your life right now, or if Cancer has affected your life in the past, what are ya gonna do about it? The way I see it, you only have one option. You are going to FIGHT. You will fight every way you know how. If you are not actually the person whose cells are going crazy then you will fight FOR that person. We all are given a pretty minuscule set of expectations when we make our debut into this world. The basic expectation is to L-I-V-E. I don’t know about you but I think we better just hunker down & get to workin’ on that task.

Summer 2006 - A quick visit from the folks during my summer job at the E Bar L, Greenough MT.
 2-3 yrs into his Cancer FIGHT

People always preach to my generation about having no regrets. My ideal scenario of having no regrets often seems starkly different than the ideals of my peers. I think it would be swell to travel the world, but honestly if it doesn’t happen, then I see no sense in discrediting all the wonderful life experiences I have been given. I have already been there and done that when it comes to things most folks commonly regret…and yet…I still don’t want to change a thing. All of the junk in our trunks is part of where we’ve been and I know we can never get to where we are going until we know where we’ve been. Personally, the only thing I will ever regret in life is if I am not a FigHteR. With the exception of the schoolyard bully I set straight in 2nd grade, I try to keep my fighting limited to fights within my soul. Cancer is just that…it is an all out battle of your soul...and those are the kind of battles well-worth fighting for.

So how exactly are you plannin on fightin’ your fight? We all know that every good battle has a battle plan. Before you can even dream of having a stellar legacy, the tough question must be asked. Do you even have it in you to be a FigHteR? As long as you have a little heavy dose of “try” in ya, then we can get down to crafting this footloose & fancy free plan of action. Yep, footloose and fancy free.

1.  Go find yourself a sense of humor.

Lord do I hope that by now you tripped over a sense of humor somewhere along the dirt road.

2.  Find some inner joy...yesterday.

I know I am doing something right when it takes very little to light my enthusiasm. Folks, let me tell ya, you know you’ve trekked up some steep & dusty mountain roads when all you need for pure unabashed joy is a Mr. Freeze Popsicle! Popsicles may not do it for you, but you best find your own frozen joystick and find it fast. This fight is all about being blinded by joy instead of being blind to joy.

3.  Lose the ‘tude.

Now is not the time for pride. Period.

4.  R & R.

Not the kind best served on ice. This is of the rest and relaxation variety. I suspect R&R is a new concept and might be tough to learn. However, I have faith old horses can be taught to drink the water. This variety of R & R is also best consumed in moderation. Too much rest and relaxation kills the fight. Too much rest equals too little living. If your current view of living looks mostly like working you might want to spruce up the scenery just a touch. If you are fightin’ this fight chances are you have asked “why me?” It is perfectly okay to ask “why me?”, just as long every Q & A round ends with the question, “what now?”. A new chapter has been added to your book. Somebody else out there needs to read that chapter. And they need you rested, refreshed, and back to work!

5. NEF – Nutrition, Education, Fitness.

a.  Nutrition –Time to ditch the cowboy breakfasts & lunches. Ie. a pot of coffee for breakfast and a Snickers bar in the afternoon. You are gonna have to start chewin on something besides coffee grinds in the morning & dust off your superhero lunch box. Read Beating Cancer With Nutrition It is large, it is in charge, and it is a little left of center. READ IT!

b.  Education - Dust off your reading glasses and start studying! Don’t OD on the cancer forums & blogs, they become dreary fast. If you want to arm yourself with knowledge, then surround yourself with the progressive crowd. GRACE, is a “Cancer” website with my personal endorsement. Its founder, Dr. West, is a renowned Lung Cancer Specialist…and lover of a good steak! GRACE is a nonprofit foundation with a vision to provide cutting edge cancer education to patients and caregivers. You won’t find posts about people feeling bad but you will find a breath of fresh air and plenty of information about treatments & research. You will find….HOPE. Dr. West has hope. He has hope in his business. As a cattleman you two should be able to relate quite well. You are hedging grass, he is hedging treatment options. You both know what is like to have the odds stacked against you but both still have hope in your business. You set the tone for your battle. If you want this to be a fight filled with joy & hope then stop hiding your light behind the sagebrush. Be the valiant leader of your healthcare team, they WILL follow.

c.  Fitness – SURVIVAL of the Fittest. The first month into my father’s almost 6 year fight, I gave him loving, sweet advice.  “Don’t be stupid”. And I meant it. Prognosis means NOTHING to me, luckily my father & I agreed. Don’t waste my time telling me your guess. Only God knows the hairs on my head & the number of my days. Prognosis aside, my father still had been diagnosed with Non Small Cell Lung Cancer…at Stage IV. I said no more running…he agreed. However, this is all about the fight. So with that, John Feusner became an official member of the Yakima YMCA. In between us riding pens or doctoring cattle, my dad and I would often go to the gym together. In fact, my dad continued working out even through his second hip replacement. Make your soul fit, and your mind will follow. Survival of the FiTTesT.

I have not actually fought the fight of Cancer. I wish my father could be here to share some of his infinite wisdom with you. What I think he would tell is to just keep, keepin’ on. Just keep LIVING. Keep WORKING. I like to think in his own diplomatic way he would tell you to not screw up this opportunity. No matter if he said that or not, his actions certainly told us to not screw up an opportunity to live life without regret. You will either view Cancer as a disease that strips you of all opportunity or one that brings new opportunity. A few months before my father passed away he asked me if I remembered what I had told him five years before. I panicked thinking back to what on earth might have slipped out of my 20 year old mouth. He proceeded to take me back to our first conversation after his grim diagnosis. I had made him go for a 2 mile walk with me in the dead of winter and gave him a reality check. The reality for my father was that this could be treated as just another day in the life. His wife had survived a horrific car accident, coma, and brain injury. He had not let car accidents and comas stop him so why would he be derailed by cancer? His only option was to keep on living just as he had been…and maybe even live just a little bit better! Cancer didn’t strip us of opportunity, it created new opportunity. Memories were made. Regrets were banished. New ambition was born.

Cancer is no different than any other day you have lived. You are given an opportunity. Everywhere you look you will find an abundance of wisdom, knowledge, and love just waiting to be received. Look for those gifts no further than in the faces of your family, your medical team, your friends, your industry peers, and many others.

(More information can be found on my “NSCLC/Cancer” page, including links to Cancer GRACE, where to buy Beating Cancer With Nutrition, & how to snag your own Junk Gypsy “FigHter” Tee.)

Previously published in the June, 2011 edition of The Washington Cattlemen's Association periodical The Ketch Pen