Don't Waste Your Pain - A Dose of Daily Hope

Life Happens.

Life happens quickly with a 19 month old in a Hip Spica Cast. I long to write daily, get all the feelings, thoughts, and memories out on paper or print, but alas, life happens.

The past few weeks our little lobster crawling Hip Spica Toddler has been happy and HEALTHY. This is the first time she has been illness free for longer than 1 month since she began daycare at 3 months old. Amazing what time away from daycare will do for the immune system.

I on the other hand have been without regular childcare while juggling  working full-time either at the office or at home, which means working throughout each day and night. Since early September, something about my asthma/illness did not feel the same as anything before. My Asthma specialist heard crackling on my lungs and has been treating me with multiple meds in case I was beginning to develop pneumonia. I have been one tired and ragged mama. We are still trying to work out a childcare situation and praying everything will work out as its meant to be. In the meantime, I am praying my lungs can heal and I can get rest at some point.

As of right now, our world is hanging by a thread and that thread is propped up by working on int'l export orders remotely from home while simultaneously doing nebulizer treatments with a Spica Baby crawling at my feet. My mama heart has ached and longed to be home with my child more, and this latest hurdle is not easing that ache. In a way this time in a Spica Cast has given me more time to see her during the day. For a week and a half, we were able to find someone to watch her half days. I made it to the office for the first half of the day, then ran home to put her down for a nap. For the first time, I was able to do something that I never was able to and in those moments my heart was bursting with joy. I would lay her on her bean bag chair used for naps, lay down beside her and read the "Jesus book". As much as I wanted to savor those moments and lay next to her all afternoon, I was pulled to quickly get back to working. I would soak up hugs, kisses, shut the door and run upstairs to work as fast as possible while praying somehow her nap would last 3+ hrs. Those are the moments that I struggle with the most. I always hoped we would be able to choose staying at home or working full or part time. There are so many others in this same situation and it is by no means an easy feat. This year has been tough for us, Roslynn's 7 day hospitalization with RSV and Pneumonia and other sick days used most of my time off, long before we could ever know she would be diagnosed with Bi-Lateral Hip Dysplasia.

My prayer continues to be, "Lord, please show me, show us, your plan."
I keep telling the Lord, its too much, I am not strong enough to keep burning both ends and not giving much of myself to anyone in my life, family, friends, work. I have been through quite a few painful experiences that have stretched and pulled my heart. Never before though had I experienced this intense battle on my heart of being a working mother, especially when my child's special needs and health, and my own health are on constant demand. I keep praying for strength to get us through and for my heart to understand why this is the role I must be in now. I pray that if there is another way we can make it, he will open our eyes and show us his path, no matter how thorny and out of the way His path may be.

“He comforts us when we are in trouble, so that we can share that same comfort with others in trouble. We share in the terrible sufferings of Christ, but also in the wonderful comfort he gives."
(2 Corinthians 1:4-5 CEV)

Earlier this month marked five years since my father passed away from Cancer. Earlier this year, we passed the 15 year mark of my mom waking from her coma following our horrific car accident. Many times in life I wondered what God is preparing me for by experiencing struggles at a young age, struggles that many will never know. At 30 years old, I am still struggling to understand God's plan and how he will work pain into beauty. Every day, I wish my father was here to talk to, I wish his loss was less painful five years later. However, the joy of meeting my husband, then becoming a mother opened a new, rawness in my heart, a longing for someone you love so much to be here in person to meet these blessings in your life. My father was a man of wisdom, empathy, depth, with a continually growing heart for Jesus. When life got hard, he dug in even harder. Throughout his nearly 6 year cancer battle, he continued working, work that was physically grueling in all elements. It is a strength that has confused doctors and people alike.

Jonda Spurbeck Photography
"Wedding Bouquet"

Although my father would listen well and even be understanding of the overwhelming and exhausting chapter we are in...ultimately I know what his advice would be, to keep digging in and doing. No matter how long, tiring and trying a situation may last, we just have to keep plugging along. As a rancher, many lives depended on my father. Lives of cattle, horses, their own babies, our crops, pastures, range land and of course his family. As a volunteer firefighter in our rural area, even more people depended on him to continuously be present and dig in. He was someone that did not quit when things got hard, no matter the physical, mental or spiritual pain. A husband that watched his wife hold on while in a coma, then rehab through her brain injury over the years, later came his own Stage IV Non Small Cell Lung Cancer Diagnosis. It was his determination not to quit and God's grace that gave him so many wonderful years that he continued caring for the lives that depended on him. During the moments when I am entrenched in the daily grind of life that I long for his wise, tough, Christ filled voice of reason. I long for his understanding of the prayer I need most, prayers I may not even know I need. However, I know I was given the time I needed and learned from his struggles, imperfect ways, his pain, and his heart for God. And I know his Pain Was Not Wasted.

Pain is inevitable in this world. Whether first world pain or third world pain, it is all pain and never quantified by God. God sees us tired and weary, our aching broken hearts, and he longs to refresh, replenish and mend our hearts whole filled with beauty and love. My Father was a living example to so many of how not to waste your pain and allow God to work through you and make beauty out of any situation. I am so grateful the Lord has shown me trials amidst the triumphs and placed so many fighting souls in my life to lead through example.

No pain is lost on God, no pain is too small or too big for him. However, we have to come to him, seek him, lay all our pain, burdens, questions, anger, you name it, we just have to toss it all up in the air and allow him to mend our fences right where we are at. We can not wait for out situation to get better, our lives to be less messy, we are meant to meet no matter how deep the mire we are in. Only He can take our pain and turn it into something of beauty. 

Don't Waste Your Pain 

By: Rick Warren, Pastor  September 12, 2014

"Your greatest ministry will flow out of your pain — not out of your strengths or your talents but out of the painful experiences of your life. It is your weaknesses that help other people in their need, not your strengths.

A great example of this is the apostle Paul. In 2 Corinthians 1, Paul says that he was in a time of his life when he was so discouraged that he was ready to kick the bucket. He despaired of life itself. He was ready to give up on life. He was ready to crawl in a corner and die. And Paul was probably the greatest Christian who ever lived except for Jesus!

But Paul was able to say this in 2 Corinthians 1:2-5: “I pray that God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ will be kind to you and will bless you with peace! Praise God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! The Father is a merciful God, who always gives us comfort. He comforts us when we are in trouble, so that we can share that same comfort with others in trouble. We share in the terrible sufferings of Christ, but also in the wonderful comfort he gives” (CEV).

Who can be more sympathetic than somebody who has already been through what another person is going through right now? Who can better help the parent of a special needs child than a parent who raised a special needs child? Who can better help somebody going through a bankruptcy than somebody who has gone through it before? Who can better help somebody experiencing the heartbreak of divorce than somebody who remembers how terrible it felt? Who can better help somebody who’s been abused or molested than somebody who has been abused or molested?

Don’t waste your pain. If you hide it and hold it back, it doesn't do any good. But if you’re honest with God and yourself and with other people, God can use the thing you hate the most in your life, that you’re most disappointed by, and that you wish had never happened. God says, “You can’t change what happened to you. But I can use it for your benefit and for my purposes. When you’re willing to share your brokenness, I can use it to help other people.”  See more from Rick Warren HERE

Post Op - Bilateral Closed Hip Reduction

 Hip Spica Cast - Post Op Closed Hip Reduction

After we pulled into our driveway at the end of a very long day yesterday, I turned around to find our patient like this. Less than 10 minutes from home, she had finally fallen asleep. Our Post Op Appt was at Seattle Children's Hospital Bellevue Clinic, scheduled for mid morning which required a 6:15 AM wakeup call for the little one. The day was so exciting that by 4pm, no nap had been had. Once a sleep fighter, always a sleep fighter and a Spica Cast does not help that. 

Spica Cast CarSeat

The fancy carseat pictured is a Hippo Special Needs Car Seat, by Britax.

Windblown Weary Working Wife and Mom

Home Cooked

Tonight I attempted to make dinner for my husband and I. At 9 pm the ever busy 18 Month old was finally in bed and dinner was burning in the cast iron. 

My home cooked meal of leftover hamburger bun tuna melt sandwiches, was officially burned. Life at its finest.

Instead of blogging or writing, I have been putting a baby to bed too late, burning dinner, battling foreign objects in the dishwasher, and working more than ever. Life continues to keep us on our toes. We have just added a hip surgery and Spica Cast for our sweet young daughter to the mix. So it seems there is no better time than the present to recharge a different part of my mind and soul. 

Working Mama Heart

A small limitation to my love of writing has been my full-time gig in the agriculture export industry. My heart longs that one day I will spend more of my days at home. To care for my husband, daughter, and be more involved with church, community and cattle organizations. 

Frugal Foody - Good Food you can EnJoy.. AND ... aFForD!

So here's the skinny...we are on a budget...a skinny budget. Two full-time working adults, you would think we'd be living high on the hog right? Wrong. Both of us are college graduates and with that comes the college loans, plus we are very fortunate that my husband had the means to build a home just as we started dating so now we have a beautiful piece of land, wonderful home, great investment instead of renting. But with that comes the responsibility of the mortage. When you add up those and a few incidentals here enters the ol' budget so that soon we will be debt free!

The biggest budget area I have been working on shrinking is for FOOD! I am not willing to compromise nutrition, health, nor my Advocare products. However, thanks to the internet I think it is easier than ever to find the help needed to remain a frugal "foody"!

Oh so handy because this little face has already loved every sample of baby food set in front of her...these eyes are saying "FEED ME mama". 

I have known about Zaycon Foods for quite awhile and when I saw that their amazing chicken was on sale again AND the pick up time was now going to be on a Saturday, it was time to finally seize their great offer! In the area we live, chicken is on sale now and can be picked up in Mid-October. Zaycon Foods has locations ALL OVER the US so be sure to check if they have a location near you.

Zaycon Foods Photo

Chicken comes in 40 lb boxes, fresh boneless skinless chicken breasts for just $1.84/lb. CRAZY savings! If you are hesitating because of the quantity of chicken, just remember this freezes well...or you can split the box amongst family or friends. Since we are BEEF eaters by heart, we are still debating whether we split it with our extended families. Butcher season is right about the time we are picking up the chicken, however, I know I'd use up the chicken for lunches, salads, quick dinners, etc!

Zaycon Foods

Zaycon Foods is now selling MILK! The best part about the Milk is that it is sourced straight from my good friend's family dairy! Local milk from right here in Central WA...does it get any better than that? 

I am also trying to wait patiently for the peaches, strawberries to come to the Ellensburg area.  We are really itchin' to get the Wildflower Honey to come here next!! (Fingers Crossed) 

Yummm! 

Zaycon Foods

If you have any questions on ordering, leave a comment and I will get back to you in a jif! We are picking up our order in October and can't wait!

Dusting off the cobwebs

Long time, NO Blog. :( I have been gone from the blogging world for FAR too long. I wish I had not been gone so long but alas its all for good reasons!

LIFE swept in and has been keeping me busy with blessing after blessing.

I met a wonderful man.

He proposed!

...Oh and I said YeS!!

We got Hitched.

Photos by Jonda Spurbeck Photography

Then....A little stork entered our home and delivered us a beautiful baby girl!

Photo by IA West

Yep...some things haven't changed. My life still moves Q-u-I-c-K :)

In that time, my domain expired...and someone else stole it! :( It turns out it was meant to be as it gives me the perfect opportunity to freshen up my writing and include more of what makes up our great world. I plan to give a glimpse into my family life, career, agriculture, faith, love, projects, music, health/fitness and everything in between.

The blog is currently under construction so as you visit changes will be made little by little. This will be a slow work in progress...did I mention I work full time, have the stork gift (5.5 months old) and that precious hubby who needs my TLC as often as I can cook..I mean love ;)

Hope you can stay with me through the construction. Good times are ahead! 

~Jenna

(Wondering about our AMAZING engagement and wedding photos...oh yes those lil ol magical gems?! Well, Jonda Spurbeck Photography is responsible for the photo magic! HIGHLY recommend them, more pictures and details of our Love Story to come!! 

SatURdaY saSS

Some days just call for a lil humor in the midst of the irony of it all    :)

For those of you who have never traveled to the west, or southwest,
cattle guards are horizontal steel rails placed at fence openings,
in dug-out places in the roads adjacent to highways (sometimes across highways), to prevent cattle from crossing over that area. For some reason the cattle will not step on the "guards," probably because they fear getting their feet caught between the rails.

A few months ago, President Obama received and was reading a report that there were over 100,000 cattle guards in Colorado . The Colorado ranchers had protested his proposed changes in grazing policies, so he ordered the Secretary of the Interior to fire half of the "cattle" guards immediately!
Before the Secretary of the Interior could respond and presumably try to straighten President Obama out on the matter, Vice-President Joe Biden, intervened with a request that...before any "cattle" guards were fired, they be given six months of retraining.

'Times are hard,' said Joe Biden, 'it's only fair to the cattle guards and their families be given six months of retraining! '

And these two guys are running our country.....

... WARNING ... 'SNOPES' says this is a joke ... A Re-Post from the Clinton era ... 

sEAson of LifE

This morning I started to think of how yet again I have been down deep in the trenches of another season of life where God has been working tirelessly with blessings, challenges, gifts, & growing I never saw
coming...yet all of these gifts have also forced me to see the cracks and streaks in the mirror representing areas I am weak in FaItH & hOpE. It was then that I realized I am not actually in another "season" of LiFe...there is just ONE season of life when we are walking thru this life with God. I am slow to learn and open up my mind and heart to the FuLL capacity of what God has promised. I wish I wasn't so slowww...and dare I admit, so stubborn to letting my heart lead my mind into the beautiful way God has prepared. However, I am. No matter how much I learn, I seem to still face a cold snap and my heart and head close up shop for a little bit and work in the worldly realm instead of soaking up the retirement the HeavenLy realm PROMISES. The only positive aspect to my slow learning and stubborn self is the unabashed awe and wonder that smacks me in the face like it was the first time I am hearing and seeing all around me. I never tire of being utterly amazed by this journey God hand gifts each of us. I do tire that I continue to doubt his promises and doubt the beauty my life posesses as his Child. Then again, we already know that we are human, we are flawed, and we will FaIL.....on our own. Rooted in the truth...maintaining the work to remain rooted...is how we will succeed with beauty and fLAIr to SpaRe~.

Every day of this Season o' LiFe is a ride that we will never be prepared for as much as we all want to be. Every day we will face adventures we didn't know existed, presented with Feats we could never possibly train. The only preparation we have for LIFE success is to perfect our ability of begging....perfect our humble weak stance of bowing down on our knees and pleading for grace, strength, wisdom, & love. This season we are in is made up of every day of our life. We will never be able to know if we will
be any good at what we are about to embark on...chances are we will be highly uncoordinated & awkward at every step of this thing called LiFe......but that is precisley why we are given the map and guided to walk in the steps of the path He's cleared for our clumsy feet

LiFe LeSSons fRoM a coWBoy to HiS dauGHter

Life Lessons from a Cowboy to his Daughter

My dad is a cowboy
His rules are my roots.
He taught me his ways-
 I followed his boots.

To a gun-fight don’t bring
A knife, he once said.
Always follow your heart
But don’t lose your head.

I knew I could jump
Whenever I felt froggy
But I was never to let
My pack become soggy.

He saw through my games-
Even at my worst.
Because my rodeo
Was never his first.

Finally-I should rein
With a strong, sure hand
Because as long as I live
I’ll ride for his brand.

by Amanda Stavropoulos

Poem of the Week for 10/19 

Cowboys and Indian Magazine

sEcrEts, TwInKLes, & JoY

"The gentleman had a twinkle in his eye, a spark, as if he had discovered the secret to life and it brought him much joy."

I am not a journaler. Okay so big deal right? Well, I always think of people who journal as the ones who never have to rummage thru their purse (or truck console for you guys) when they need a pen, or heck just to find the ol drivers license;) Along with fervent organizational skills, I think of those who journal as those folks who no one can say a bad word about. They talk softly, walk softly, laugh demurely, and never speak out of turn. Yep, a journaler is everything everyone hopes & prays I might become!! :P I too used to hope to became a journaler, as I was reminded when I came across my ill-fated quest for journal success. The funny thing about irony is that as my 26th year came & went, the chaos I seem to embody did not. And so the journal got buried in a box if chaos. As my 27th year fell upon me, my aspirations embodied something more akin to a 'weekend journaler'. See, the weekend journaler is accustomed to daily chaos but looks forward to basking in the relaxation of a good ol fashioned structured, white picket fence weekend...every now & then;)

I recently found myself {once again} feverishly packing for an unplanned move. While this move is not intended to find me living beyond my county borders, it was nonetheless, highly unplanned & a result of less than ideal circumstances. Since no day in the life of this gal would be complete without a side sprig of gypsyness, these thoughts have been plucked straight from the shady nook of an all too familiar a storage unit. As I rummage thru totes, boxes, & bags I find myself blessed beyond recognition as someone above offers my rest for my weary soul in the form of a shady storage unit & a long unopened journal.

On this very day I wonder how many of us find ourselves hiding from our past, cursing our present, and backing away from our future. It's on days like today that someone is trying to come in close to stop the second hand and show you this very moment in time.Where finding that unfinished journal bears no resemblance to shame or failure but instead gratitude for the words recorded & the hope they replenish. What we have is what we have....not have not. A sparse journal, a sparse bank account or a sparse society...may we see what ee have in each rather than what we have not. May our eyes be open today to seeing that we have before us everything we need to carry this day onto completion.

"Invitations to Jesus come to us in many ways sometimes thru circumstance, an opportunity that opens before us. Sometimes thru other people who see something that we may not yet see, they invite us to step forth in some way. ...We don't get to wait to offer our lives until we have our acts together. We do not get that luxury. If we did, would anyone EVER feel like offering anything"

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EverY gIrL

Well she was born in the morning late October San Antone
Aw she’s every girl I’ve ever known

Well she was born in the morning late October San Antone
Aw she’s every girl I’ve ever known
She don’t talk about religion she talks about the stones
Oh she’s every girl I’ve ever known

And her tongue is like the Devil when she tries to concentrate
She says she don’t want marriage but she still believes in fate
And she stands her ground to defiantly but cries when she’s alone
Oh she’s every girl I’ve ever known

Now her voice it is a melody that sings just like a bird
Oh she’s every song I’ve ever heard
And her heartbeat is a rhythm that commands her every word
Aw she’s every song I’ve ever heard

She reflects the world in happiness and echos all the pain
Her smiles the world of sunrise her cries to make it rain
And she hides the truth discretely you’d have to take her word
Aw she’s every song I’ve ever heard

She’s a sober Sunday kitchen conversation with my dad
Aw she’s every friend I’ve ever had
Well we never failed to cut a trail whenever times were bad
Oh she’s every friend I’ve ever had

She’s a flighty good time buddy in the corner of the bar
But she’d fight the Devil for ya just for being who you are
And she’s the last to cast a stone though she’d love to leave you mad
Aw she’s every friend I’ve ever had

Well she was born in the morning late October San Antone

(Turnpike Troubadours)

Benefit for Children of Janis Davis & Ned Kayser

It is our faith in God, family, and friends combined with our compassion for others that bring about a strong bond of community and love.  From our souls, there come words which can bring healing to a broken heart and renewed hope to a sagging spirit that tomorrow is going to be a better day.  It is from our pocket books that the reality of tomorrow's basic needs are going to be met; and it is from that vein of thinking that this is being offered.

A fund raiser has been started with the proceeds going to the children of Janice Davis and Ned Kayser.

Ned Kayser (center) Centerville, WA April, 2011 Kayser Branding

Hopefully, this will help some good kids out!  A 2011 foal by Frenchmans Guy out of the Dash Ta Fame mare, Lady's Famous Number will be used as the fund item.   "Lady" has made over $30,000 in barrel earnings and is currently being campaigned.   Only 275 tickets at $250 each will be sold. The event will start on June 25tht and will continue until such time that all 275 tickets are sold...when they are gone...they're gone.   Your receipt will have your number as well as your address and phone number. The drawing will take place on Aug. 28th.   There will also be a consolation prize winner!   A 2011 foal by Frenchmans Falcon will be given to the second ticket drawn.  So you have two chances to win an outstanding foal by either of these exciting father/ son sires.  Winners are responsible for picking up foals from Granger, WA within two weeks of drawing.  AQHA transfer papers will be given at that time.

We need your involvement in getting the word out about this opportunity to help.   Please email or tell everyone you know about this event.  They can email Cindy at cindy@westerncrossings.com or call Cindy at 1.509.439.1227 to buy a ticket or get more information.

tHe DaiLy CoWMaN

So proud to present you with this Cattlemen to Cattlemen "Day In the Life" segment with our Washington Cattlemen's Association President, Larry Olberding and his family! I am honored to have the chance to work with Larry through our state Cattlemen's Association. He has truly walked the talk in supporting the younger generation coming up in our Cattle Industry. Keep in step with Larry by following him on Twitter as well as reading his blog, The Daily Cowman. You WiLL never be without a laugh & smile after checkin' in with Mr. Olberding!

Fighter - Cancer battle Fighting with Dignity

In memory of John Douglas Feusner, Larry James Lampkins, and countless others who have taught us how to fight with honor and courage.

“Take the Road Less Traveled”. 

The words stared back at me, never more poignant. You see, what was hidden behind those words, tucked deep inside the package, had been source of great anticipation. I already knew about taking those roads that are not traveled by many. The roads that are dirty, uphill, rough as heck, jar every bone in your body and make you say things that would make a church lady blush. There is no discrediting those trips can wear a man down. However, the scenery encountered on those roads is so rare and beautiful; you always find yourself praying its memory will be forever burned in your mind and in your soul. As the full memory of the road & its beauty came back to me, I found myself tearing into that package with renewed joy and a new sense of FigHt!

Just few weeks before I was innocently partaking in a lil Junk Gypsy “window shoppin” when something caught my eye. This time it was not bright and shiny, but instead heartfelt and inspiring. “Kickin’ Hiney and Takin’ Names” splashed across my screen. Clearly, with a title like that they had me at hello. It seemed the Junk Gypsy gals wanted to FIGHT and when you pair two sisters from the Lone Star State with a dad who is fighting a battle against cancer, this will be a fight worth watching! Y’all that have been down this road, know full well that certain battles are NEVER to be fought alone.

cancer…it stinks. and i would pretty much assume there isn’t a single person out there whose life has not been touched in some way by that ugly, stinky word. you know people that have lost the battle, you know some that are currently in the trenches of war, and thankfully you know those that have won the FIGHT.

or possibly, YOU are currently courageously, boldly, fighting the fight. the gloves-are-off-take-no-prisoners-fight-of-your-life. we salute you.

and here’s the good part. the part we’re really pumped about…we are working on a new design. a new design to HONOR and CELEBRATE all of the cancer survivors & fighters & true-blue warriors out there. we are doing a call for names. for the names of anyone & everyone who has been through the CaNCER war. NAMES in honor, in celebration, in memoriam.

and the even better part…we’re going to print EVERY name we receive on our new design, print it, and SELL it. and 100% of the profits will go to the LIVESTRONG foundation working hard in the fight against cancer.

(Junk Gypsy Blog)

Now THIS was a fight I could get plum excited about. I had TwO very important tasks & oNe very important deadline before me. I needed to get my personal FigHter’s name typed out ASAP & then send this information on to a friend who had lost her own father one month before mine. The Gypsy gals ended up having almost 1,000 names to spread out over five shirts…but wouldn’t it just be like fate that those two important names can be found on the same shirt!

…Cancer. Jazz it up, strip it down, make it emotional, interpret it scientifically, cuss about it or write it a love sonnet. No matter what you do to Cancer, it just is what it is. It might be the worst thing that happens to you or frankly, it might be far from the worst boulder to ever roll onto your trail. If Cancer does affect your life one day, if Cancer is affecting your life right now, or if Cancer has affected your life in the past, what are ya gonna do about it? The way I see it, you only have one option. You are going to FIGHT. You will fight every way you know how. If you are not actually the person whose cells are going crazy then you will fight FOR that person. We all are given a pretty minuscule set of expectations when we make our debut into this world. The basic expectation is to L-I-V-E. I don’t know about you but I think we better just hunker down & get to workin’ on that task.

Summer 2006 - A quick visit from the folks during my summer job at the E Bar L, Greenough MT.
 2-3 yrs into his Cancer FIGHT

People always preach to my generation about having no regrets. My ideal scenario of having no regrets often seems starkly different than the ideals of my peers. I think it would be swell to travel the world, but honestly if it doesn’t happen, then I see no sense in discrediting all the wonderful life experiences I have been given. I have already been there and done that when it comes to things most folks commonly regret…and yet…I still don’t want to change a thing. All of the junk in our trunks is part of where we’ve been and I know we can never get to where we are going until we know where we’ve been. Personally, the only thing I will ever regret in life is if I am not a FigHteR. With the exception of the schoolyard bully I set straight in 2nd grade, I try to keep my fighting limited to fights within my soul. Cancer is just that…it is an all out battle of your soul...and those are the kind of battles well-worth fighting for.

So how exactly are you plannin on fightin’ your fight? We all know that every good battle has a battle plan. Before you can even dream of having a stellar legacy, the tough question must be asked. Do you even have it in you to be a FigHteR? As long as you have a little heavy dose of “try” in ya, then we can get down to crafting this footloose & fancy free plan of action. Yep, footloose and fancy free.

1.  Go find yourself a sense of humor.

Lord do I hope that by now you tripped over a sense of humor somewhere along the dirt road.

2.  Find some inner joy...yesterday.

I know I am doing something right when it takes very little to light my enthusiasm. Folks, let me tell ya, you know you’ve trekked up some steep & dusty mountain roads when all you need for pure unabashed joy is a Mr. Freeze Popsicle! Popsicles may not do it for you, but you best find your own frozen joystick and find it fast. This fight is all about being blinded by joy instead of being blind to joy.

3.  Lose the ‘tude.

Now is not the time for pride. Period.

4.  R & R.

Not the kind best served on ice. This is of the rest and relaxation variety. I suspect R&R is a new concept and might be tough to learn. However, I have faith old horses can be taught to drink the water. This variety of R & R is also best consumed in moderation. Too much rest and relaxation kills the fight. Too much rest equals too little living. If your current view of living looks mostly like working you might want to spruce up the scenery just a touch. If you are fightin’ this fight chances are you have asked “why me?” It is perfectly okay to ask “why me?”, just as long every Q & A round ends with the question, “what now?”. A new chapter has been added to your book. Somebody else out there needs to read that chapter. And they need you rested, refreshed, and back to work!

5. NEF – Nutrition, Education, Fitness.

a.  Nutrition –Time to ditch the cowboy breakfasts & lunches. Ie. a pot of coffee for breakfast and a Snickers bar in the afternoon. You are gonna have to start chewin on something besides coffee grinds in the morning & dust off your superhero lunch box. Read Beating Cancer With Nutrition It is large, it is in charge, and it is a little left of center. READ IT!

b.  Education - Dust off your reading glasses and start studying! Don’t OD on the cancer forums & blogs, they become dreary fast. If you want to arm yourself with knowledge, then surround yourself with the progressive crowd. GRACE, is a “Cancer” website with my personal endorsement. Its founder, Dr. West, is a renowned Lung Cancer Specialist…and lover of a good steak! GRACE is a nonprofit foundation with a vision to provide cutting edge cancer education to patients and caregivers. You won’t find posts about people feeling bad but you will find a breath of fresh air and plenty of information about treatments & research. You will find….HOPE. Dr. West has hope. He has hope in his business. As a cattleman you two should be able to relate quite well. You are hedging grass, he is hedging treatment options. You both know what is like to have the odds stacked against you but both still have hope in your business. You set the tone for your battle. If you want this to be a fight filled with joy & hope then stop hiding your light behind the sagebrush. Be the valiant leader of your healthcare team, they WILL follow.

c.  Fitness – SURVIVAL of the Fittest. The first month into my father’s almost 6 year fight, I gave him loving, sweet advice.  “Don’t be stupid”. And I meant it. Prognosis means NOTHING to me, luckily my father & I agreed. Don’t waste my time telling me your guess. Only God knows the hairs on my head & the number of my days. Prognosis aside, my father still had been diagnosed with Non Small Cell Lung Cancer…at Stage IV. I said no more running…he agreed. However, this is all about the fight. So with that, John Feusner became an official member of the Yakima YMCA. In between us riding pens or doctoring cattle, my dad and I would often go to the gym together. In fact, my dad continued working out even through his second hip replacement. Make your soul fit, and your mind will follow. Survival of the FiTTesT.

I have not actually fought the fight of Cancer. I wish my father could be here to share some of his infinite wisdom with you. What I think he would tell is to just keep, keepin’ on. Just keep LIVING. Keep WORKING. I like to think in his own diplomatic way he would tell you to not screw up this opportunity. No matter if he said that or not, his actions certainly told us to not screw up an opportunity to live life without regret. You will either view Cancer as a disease that strips you of all opportunity or one that brings new opportunity. A few months before my father passed away he asked me if I remembered what I had told him five years before. I panicked thinking back to what on earth might have slipped out of my 20 year old mouth. He proceeded to take me back to our first conversation after his grim diagnosis. I had made him go for a 2 mile walk with me in the dead of winter and gave him a reality check. The reality for my father was that this could be treated as just another day in the life. His wife had survived a horrific car accident, coma, and brain injury. He had not let car accidents and comas stop him so why would he be derailed by cancer? His only option was to keep on living just as he had been…and maybe even live just a little bit better! Cancer didn’t strip us of opportunity, it created new opportunity. Memories were made. Regrets were banished. New ambition was born.

Cancer is no different than any other day you have lived. You are given an opportunity. Everywhere you look you will find an abundance of wisdom, knowledge, and love just waiting to be received. Look for those gifts no further than in the faces of your family, your medical team, your friends, your industry peers, and many others.

(More information can be found on my “NSCLC/Cancer” page, including links to Cancer GRACE, where to buy Beating Cancer With Nutrition, & how to snag your own Junk Gypsy “FigHter” Tee.)

Previously published in the June, 2011 edition of The Washington Cattlemen's Association periodical The Ketch Pen

Too MUCH Water???

See below for the USDA Risk Management Agency Press Release regarding the cold & extremely wet weather conditions seen across the Northwest all Winter..I mean "Spring" ;) I think its best not to complain about too MUCH precipitation on the Eastern side of the state...however...between the FREEZING spring we've had & now the crazy rain & floods that ensued...this is gettin' to be a head scratcher. We aren't in a drought & we aren't on fire...always gotta find that silver linin'?! :)

UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF AGRICULTURE

RISK MANAGEMENT AGENCY

Contact: Jo Lynne Seufer, (509) 228-6320

jo.lynne.seufer@rma.usda.gov

Options for Farmers with Delayed Planting from Wet Conditions

SPOKANE, WASHINGTON, May 24, 2011 ---Cool and extremely wet weather in the inland Northwest has caused crop damage and slowed planting this spring. Dave Paul, Director of USDA's Risk Management Agency (RMA) Spokane Regional Office, encourages producers faced with questions on prevented planting, replant or crop losses this spring, to contact their agent for more information.

Producers who are unable to plant an insured crop by the final planting date due to an insurable cause, such as excess moisture and flooding have a number of options.

· Producers may plant the insured crop during the 25 day late planting period with a reduction in the production guarantee of 1 percent a day for each day planting is delayed after the final planting date.

· Producers may leave the acreage idle and receive a full prevented planting payment or the producer may be able to plant the acreage to another crop after the late planting period and receive a reduced prevented planting payment.

· Producers with double cropping history can receive a full prevented planting payment within the guidelines of the policy.

· Prevented planting coverage will not be provided for any acreage that does not constitute at least 20 acres or 20 percent of the insurable crop acreage in the unit. Producers need to keep in mind that group policies do not provide prevented planting coverage.

"Producers who are unable to plant due to excess moisture need to contact their insurance company to discuss prevented planting policy requirements related to their specific coverage and farming operation." said Paul. "The producer's insurance company will make the final determination of acres eligible for prevented planting payments."

Paul encourages producers to contact their crop insurance agent for assistance. Producers can also get crop insurance information on the web at: www.rma.usda.gov.

Local crop insurance agents are available to provide program details that reflect the grower's nursery inventory. A list of crop insurance agents is available at all USDA Service Centers throughout the U.S. or at the web site: http://www3.rma.usda.gov/tools/agents/.

#

USDA is an equal opportunity provider, employer and lender. To file a complaint of discrimination, write: USDA, Director, Office of Civil Rights, 1400 Independence Ave., SW., Washington, DC 20250-9410 or call (80) 795-3271 (voice) or (202) 720-6382 (TDD).

Jo Lynne, Spokane RMA

Jo Lynne Seufer, Risk Management Specialist

USDA/Risk Management Agency

Spokane Regional Office

(Serving Alaska, Idaho, Oregon, Washington)

11707 East Sprague Ave, #201

Spokane, WA 99206

(509)228-6320Office

800-205-9953 (in AK, ID, OR, WA) Toll Free

(509)998-6902 Gov't Cell

(509)228-6321 Fax

jo.lynne.seufer@rma.usda.gov

www.rma.usda.gov

SpRinG fEvEr

"It's spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you've got it, you want-oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!

~ Mark Twain

Wheat Life, May 2011 "Farmer near Ritzville, WA spraying weeds"

I tore this picture out from May's edition of Wheat Life and hung it on the wall near my desk at work. The clouds in this picture make a soul just ache... beauty like this was not meant to be ignored, it was designed with perfect intention. This picture is a representation of feeling. You can not truly understand the ache in the soul until you have been under the sky when those clouds look to be moving too quickly by. The sky in this picture will stop you in the middle of even the most aggravating & exhausting handline set. It will take the air from your lungs, empty your soul, and yet fill it even fuller all in a moment.

...Spring, perfectly intentional by design

L-I-V-I-N the DrEaM

Livin’ the Dream

Imagine someone asking you, “What are you up to these days?” and you respond, “Oh, just livin’ the dream.” Does that scenario have a familiar ring to it? I recently mentioned to someone that perhaps they need a tattoo on their wrist that reads in big bold letters, L-I-V-I-N the DREAM. That way when they find themselves slapping their hand to their forehead, a sure and steady reminder of their grand life will never be out of reach.

Often when we answer a question with a phrase like “living the dream” we might just throw in a drop or two of facetiousness with it. However, what would happen if we actually started believing we were living a dream? I recently read that the United States ranks well below other industrialized countries in the areas of Math and Science. However, our students rank shockingly high in one particular category - self esteem. Whew, that is a relief! At least we can find great comfort in that our low intelligence will not damper our spirit and sense of self.

Now that we are armed with the knowledge of our greatest attributes we know just how to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps. Since most of us are products of the United States Education System we can rule out that our intelligence will propel us forward. It looks like we will have to resort to putting our unusually high self esteem to work. Do not despair just yet; this self esteem business has a few decent qualities we can tap into. Folks with high self esteem believe they can do anything they set their mind to. That might also be due to a lack of intelligent judgment but for this article we will ignore that argument. When a person believes they can do anything or be anyone, they will have an infinite number of dreams to be dreamed and schemes to be schemed.

Now do not misconstrue my words, I am in no way discrediting the importance of possessing intelligence. Instead, I am raising the question that perhaps a solid self-esteem can make up for whatever intellectual shortcomings we may have. Instead of using a phrase such as “Livin’ the Dream” in a facetious manner when someone inquires about your life, what if we actually began to believe we were livin’ the dream? We may not be living some folks’ dreams, heck, we may not be living out our own dream, but most likely we are living out someone’s dream. At this exact moment in time, there are a greater percentage of people in this world who’s greatest dream is simply to survive. Perhaps they lie awake at night wondering how they will scrounge up food for their children, wondering when the gunfire will cease, or fighting a ferocious disease and praying for one last breath of air to breathe. In an instant our own dreams and ambitions appear as shallow and superficial as those of the Kardashians.  

I do not know at what point our contentedness with the unfolding of our lives just becomes settling for less than we are capable of. However, I do believe we need to use this self esteem/intelligence combination as a mechanism for always striving to work harder and dream bigger. No matter how twisted the path we are being led down, once we succeed at keeping our feet on the ground and our eyes to the sky then we will truly be “L-I-V-I-N the Dream”.

Wish I was down on some blue bayou,
With a bamboo cane stuck in the sand.
But the road I'm on, don't seem to go there,
So I just dream, keep on bein' the way I am.
Wish I enjoyed what makes my living,
Did what I do with a willin' hand.
Some would run, ah, but that ain't like me.
So I just dream and keep on bein' the way I am.

The way I am, don't fit my shackles.
The way I am, reality.
I can almost see that bobber dancin',
So I just dream, keep on bein' the way I am.

~Merle Haggard

(Previously published in the April, 2011 edition of The Ketch Pen, a monthly periodical of the Washington Cattlemen's Association. Subscription information here)

Listen/Watch The Way I Am performed by Miranda Lambert